Out Of The Fire And Into The Pan by Shannon O'Leary

Author : Shannon O'Leary 

Title : Out Of The Fire And Into The Pan

Published : 2019

Publisher : Kindle

Pages : 329

Genre : Autobiography / True Crime 

     Shannon O’Leary (a pseudonym) is a prolific writer and performer. Her first book The Blood on My Hands told the story of her traumatic and violent childhood in the 1960s and 70's Australia. This sequel, Out of the Fire and into the Pan, explains to the reader how she progressed into the adult world while coming to terms with her terrifying past. It is a story of personal growth and of how O’Leary navigates her transition into adulthood while seeking out the social norms and finding her place in the world. Out of the Fire and into the Pan takes the reader on a personal journey where Shannon questions herself, her past, her choice of relationships and her place in the world. It is a story of resilience, accomplishment, and personal triumph.

     I would Like to start out by saying I received a free copy of this book for a fair and honest review.

From time to time I have pondered the thought of what it is like for the families of these most violent men. How can serial killers maintain a regular family life all the while doing what they do? From what I have read most of these men don't, they live an isolated life allowing them to live out there twisted and dark fantasies. But for just some of them, there is a need to on the outside at least maintain a normal looking life. In reading O'Leary's book you find that her life was more akin to hell on earth. Having not read the first book the events portrayed to me in this one where all new. From what I understand from reading online it deals more with the crimes of her father. Here in Out of the fire, she talks more about how she went about trying to form a life away from him. 

     It has taken me a while to put my thoughts into order and form a coherent thread when it comes to her story. For a lot of us, we have an idealized view of what Australia is. The sun-kissed place where good times are had by all and the only worry is where to eat out next. But much like a great many of these dream vacation destinations. The reality of living there can be a whole different ball game.    To say the abuse her and her brothers went through as horrific would be doing them all a great disservice. There were parts of this book that forced me to put the book to one side for a while and let my brain go anywhere else. For me, I think part of the problem is that I try to fix problems and with people you can't always do that. Sometimes you have to just sit and listen. In reading this book it forces you to do just that. In some ways, it feels like a cathartic exercise for the author. She tells her story in what feels like a stream of consciousness. While the bulk of the book goes from year to year, there are moments when she shoots back and forth in time. In part, I feel this is to add context to either the story she just told or the one coming up. And as someone who had not been privy to the events of the previous book it helped me a great deal with what was going on. 

    She does her best to deliver her story in a way that the reader can keep up with. Her style is not meant to shock the reader as so often is the case in true crime. I would imagine that this stems from the fact that most true crime is written by people who came to the facts long after. But here we have a direct input into a world that is so steeped in trauma and abuse. For everything I have witnessed in my life, I cannot find any direct memory or image to connect her life with. Trying to find a way out of this disturbing landscape is for the reader simply a matter of closing the book and walking away. But for someone who was trapped in it, there is no real escape. I can only imagine that it something you learn to live with. Like a shadow stalking your every moment of life, you learn to accept its presence.  But only after the threat has gone I feel this is possible. 

     This book will not appeal to everyone, the subject matter alone is enough to force many to put it straight back on the shelf. But for me, there is a great deal to be learned from her book. You can see how not only physical abuse can destroy a life but also the constant emotional abuse leaves you with a feeling that no matter what you do the will be no escape. Hope is a powerful thing and when someone sets out to take that away from you the life that follows is one of constant fight or flight. It is one of those stories that needs to be told. That despite all she went through, she is alive today to tell the reader what her father did not only to those nameless victims but his own flesh and blood. It is a book that I am still struggling to come to terms with.